WTF File
by kolchaksghost
Summary: This is the place for all the random stuff that won't leave me alone to so that I can work on updating my stories: Story ideas or just individual scenes.


**What follows are story ideas or scenes that popped into my head and wouldn't leave me alone so I could update some of my actual stories. Whether any of them will become actual stories in their own right or the individual scenes are worked into existing stories remains to be seen. If anyone wants to use them just drop me a PM. No doubt this will be updated regularly but don't be surprised is some of them make you say What the Fuck? Just like me because they might be way too random.**

**Thunderstruck **** [Harry Potter/Thor Crossover Fic; no pairings at the moment]**

Ch. 1: The Ghost of Heir's Past

_{Thunder}_

Harry Potter was strange boy… even by wizarding standards; of course, he hadn't found out he was a wizard until his eleventh birthday because his parents had been killed when he was just fifteen-months-old and was left with his mother's non-magical sister. Petunia Dursley nee Evans and her husband hated anything that didn't fit within their very narrow view of what was "normal", but she made sure that her orphaned nephew was raised with the faith of her father's family – if only out of fear of what might happen to her own son, Dudley. But not even Harry's bitter aunt knew the full Evans legacy, only his mum – Lily – knew and that was because she'd taken an Heritage/Inheritance Test at Gringott's Bank the summer before her fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The young raven haired wizard was supposed to go see the goblins to take the same test sometime during the summer hols.

_{Thunder}_

_The above comes from an old challenge by Draconian of Darkness and by the one-shot Harry Helason by Whitetigerwolf. The basic set up for this story is that Lily is actually the daughter of Thor and Freya. She was conceived back during Thor's first exile to Earth as Dr. Donald Blake when he had an affair with Freya, who'd merged her essence with the human, Rose Evans. I was considering making James Potter actually Hela, who decided she needed a vacation and wanted to experience a human life. If I would've continued the scene, then the part in italics would've been the lyrics to Thunderstruck by AC/DC._

**Rude Awaking: The Philosopher's Stone**** [HP/Dresden Files TV show crossover with elements from the Dresden books; Fem Harry, Lily is actually the twin sister of Thomas Raith, Creature Harry – White Court Vampire, overprotective Uncles, Mentor Bob/Hrothbert of Bainbridge. Pairings: Dresden/Murphy, Thomas/?, Harry/?femslash]**

Prologue: Desperate Measures

_Potter Safe House, Godric's Hollow, Wales; October 31, 2001_

Lily Potter rushed into the nursery on the upper floor of the cottage and hastily placed the precious bundle she carried into the crib before she turned around and barricaded the door; not that that would hold off that monster, Voldemort, for long. It was only a matter of moments before the worst Dark Lord in a century reached the front door and fought with her husband, James. In her heart, she knew he would die followed quickly by herself and their child because there was no chance to escape; the bastard had already put up Anti-Apparation and Anti-Portkey Wards along with having one of his minions shut down the Floo. The redheaded witch was in full panic mode when she felt a pull from the necklace she always wore, a final parting gift from her birth mother.

It was that mystical pull that forced Lily to push back her hysterics as a plan started to take shape in her mind. An extremely desperate plan but one that ultimately see her baby girl survive this night and have a chance to thrive. Time seemed to slow down as she removed the silver Pentacle from around her neck, investing it with a small portion of magic until it glowed blue and crackled with energy. The necklace was around her daughter's neck and then focused her remaining magic into a ritual to call upon little Ivy's Faerie Godmother to protect the toddler.

Less than a minute had passed, James had fallen and Voldemort was already making his way slowly up the stairs to increase the fear level in his next victim. But that was not to be because Lily had completed the ritual and the last of her magic blasted into the Nevernever along with her plea for help; little did she know that it was going to be answered by more than just Ivy's Faerie Godmother. Just before the Dark Lord blasted his way into the nursery, an exhausted Lily felt two distinct presences within her mind. One was the Leanansidhe, her and Ivy's Faerie Godmother, but the other was possibly older and even more powerful.

_Lily Raith, I have heard your plea and will honor that pact I made with your mother to protect your daughter but there all limits to just how far I can interfere – the Leanansidhe spoke in the witch's mind._

Lily felt her panic start to surge as she wondered what the exact nature of those limitations were but her thoughts were interrupted before she had a chance to ask.

_You already know that you will die, Little Witch, but when you do someone you trusted will ignore your wishes and place the child with the one you thought was your sister. While the Leanansidhe has the power augment the protection you already placed upon the child, only I have the power to physically breech the Wards and take her to safety. Give me Ivy's life and I swear to take her to your brothers to be raised. She will grow up happy and healthy then after she comes of age, I will take her as my own. Do we have a bargain? – the other voice whispered._

Knowing it was the only way to insure her beloved daughter's safety, Lily said aloud, "Yes."

The door to the nursery exploded inward and the young mother immediately placed herself between the crib and the one that sought to kill its occupant. Voldemort was momentarily shocked that instead of fear, the mudblood bitch looked serene. Remembering the promise he made to his faithful Potions Master, he demanded that the slut step aside so he could take care of the brat but the stupid slag refused. Twice more he made the demand and each time it was refused. After the final one, the impudent whore spoke.

"You may kill me, Voldemort, but your victory will be short lived. There are Powers out there that you and the rest of the inbred purebloods have forgotten about. You might've delved deep into the Dark Arts in your quest for power but anything you learned is but a pale shadow to what they wield. I've already made my bargain and it was a fair trade, not that you believe me. So strike me down you coward and enjoy your last few moments of your mortal coil," Lily said with a hit of humor.

Lord Voldemort had had enough and sent a Killing Curse at the redhead then laughed as her lifeless body crumpled to the floor. _Too bad you won't be able to see your brat die –_ he thought with a mental sneer as he cast another Killing Curse at the toddler that poked its head over the crib's side. The Pentacle necklace around its neck was glowing and a blue aura flashed out of it to form a protective bubble around the child. The Dark Lord laughed as if a simple Shield Charm was able to stop one of the Unforgiveables. That laugher died when more power poured into the shield and his curse rebounded back to its caster. There wasn't enough time dodge out of the way so the Killing Curse hit the magical megalomaniac square in the chest by somehow the spell's power had been amplified a hundred fold. When it struck, the force released not only vaporized Voldemort's body, it caused an explosion that blew the roof off half the cottage and started several small fires.

Two women appeared after the explosion and took a moment to admire the devastation. Both were statuesque beings of ethereal beauty whose auras rippled with ancient power that rolled off of them in waves – one had a head of vibrant red hair and whose curvaceous body was sheathed in a skin tight green gown that seemed to be painted on her body; the other had flowing platinum blonde hair and a body not quite as full as her companion's but most definitely built for sinful pleasure dressed in an equally painted on blue-black gown. They were the Leanansidhe and Mab – The Winter Queen – respectively but the only person that might have known their names was the dead woman that called out to them, Lily Potter nee Raith. Mab ordered the other woman to fetch James Potter's wand from downstairs while she bent over and retrieved Lily's from the floor.

While Mab waited for her subordinate to return, she summoned a branch of Holly from her palace in the Nevernever. When the other Faerie returned, the Winter Queen held the two wands and holly branch in one hand, to this she added a hair plucked from her head. She had Leanansidhe prick little Ivy's finger with a silver needle she'd conjured then added three drops of the child's blood to the held objects. Mab focused her will and let her magic flow through full hand. There was a bright flash and a single wand was left after the light faded. The new wand was a work of art; it was eleven inches long with the main body being holly, Lily and James' wands wrapped around it as Celtic Knot Work inlay fused seamlessly together. The three cores it contained were saturated with the Potter Heiress' blood and would only ever work for her or one of her descendants. She handed the newly forged magical focus to her now visibly angry companion and then picked up the child.

"You have no right to do this. That child is mine per the original pack I made with the Morningway witch," Leanansidhe seethed.

"The descendents of House Morningway have interested me and that is why I allowed you to make the original bargain in the first place. It is also why I purchased Dresden's debt from you and claimed this child," Mab replied haughtily just before she kissed Ivy behind her left ear. When she pulled away, a pale blue image of a snowflake – barely visible – was left behind.

"Dresden will never honor his debt and only make a fool of you if you try to make him. The slippery wizard will find a way out of it and he will most definitely find a way to break your hold over his niece long before you can collect your prize. Besides, the child is now bound by prophecy," the child's Faerie Godmother retorted smugly.

"Just because the wizard has frequently made of fool of you does not imply he will be able to do the same with me. Like yourself, the descendents of Morningway have always been mine; the only difference is where you know who owns you and childishly fight against it, they have no such knowledge. Besides, I am patient when it comes to my plans but make no mistake, they will come. In time, young Ivy will come willingly and you would understand that had you remembered that Raith's always breed true. That means the child is White Court like Lily and her twin brother.

"The little witchling will grow tired of the continual judgment from the Wizarding World and I shall offer her a sanctuary free from persecution. Which reminds me, you will arrange to meet with the child from time to time. I want you to teach her true Glamour not that pale imitation used by wizards. By the time she comes to me she will have diverse and useful skills set that I intend to fully utilize; you and her guardians shall take care of that. As to that idiotic prophecy, it was broken when that old fool manipulated it instead of waiting for Lily's unborn son to be born. Now let us leave for said fool, or one of his minions, is sure to arrive shortly," the Winter Queen countered in a tone that dripped with pure satisfaction.

The two faerie women and human toddler faded from existence leaving a conjured note behind.

Ch. 1: Forced Exile

_Diagon Alley, London; August 27, 2011_

It was a motley group of seven beings that entered the Alley from the Leaky Cauldron and made their way to the goblin run Gringott's Bank before a marathon outing of school shopping. Even if the strangers hadn't been in what was obviously meant to be a defensive formation. On point were two men that looked to be related, one wore the long grey duster that marked him as a Warden with a staff in his hand and the other dressed fashionably in a designer suit and white silk shirt, his black hair loose and just past his shoulders. On the outer edge of the formation, to the right was a buxom teenage witch with neon green hair dressed in distressed cutoffs, a snug half tee that showed her toned midriff with the words I Got Hex Appeal in bold red print across her breasts, fishnets and combat boots; to the left was a large dog with jet black fur that looked like a Chow on steroids. Bringing up the rear was a tall burly man dressed in chain mail with a white tabard that bore a large red cross and a long sword belted at his waist; to his right was a short woman with shoulder length dark brown hair dressed casually but one hand stayed suspiciously inside the left breast of her light jacket. In the dead center of the group was its most vulnerable member, an eleven-year-old girl whose face was twisted into a scowl. The only humorous thing about the strangers was that the dog was actually as tall as the little girl but for some unexplainable reason nobody wanted to so much as snicker in case it drew attention to them.

Ivy Potter wasn't a happy camper; no the young witch wasn't a happy camper at all.

**Mi Familia de Locos**** [Twilight Fic; Charlie/Kate, Bella/Tanya]**

Ch. 1: A New Beginning

_Forks, Washington; September 16, 2005_

_Charlie_

It had been a relatively slow day at the Station, so I decided to head on down to Forks General as part of the follow up to the Hit and Run that happened a week ago on the highway just outside of town. I knew the Vic, a teen runaway named Lisa Carrow, was still unconscious but I just wanted to check in on her. The phone call I'd made to the girl's parents was pretty much a wasted effort because they really hadn't given a damn. The older Carrow's were so wrapped up in their own shit that there wasn't any room left over for deal with the realities of having a child. In a way, they reminded me of my whacked out cunt of an ex-wife – Renee. The only real difference between them was that the Carrow's were all about their careers and not that New Age wannabe Hippy shit my ex bought into. I needed to stop thinking about her before I went off on a full blown mental rant and completely ruined my day.

Ten minutes later, at the hospital, I learned that there was no change in Lisa's condition and I was about to head out when something Nurse Stanley said made me stop. Normally, I wouldn't have paid any attention to whatever came out of her mouth but this time it was different. Instead of the usual venomous gossip she spewed, she was actually talking about something that indirectly affected me – Dr. Cullen had suddenly accepted a job offer from a hospital in LA and skipped town. When she noticed me, she stopped talked then gave me what she thought was a seductive smile and offered to walk me out to my patrol car because she needed a smoke break – riiiiiiiight.

I suppose it would be best if I provided a bit of background information on the Naughty Nurse. Michelle Stanley and her dentist husband – Dr. Jeff Stanley – have no concept of what the word monogamy means. They fucked around on each other whenever the opportunity presented itself. Then again, she and her sister had been that way back in high school when they were still just Micki and Trudy Varner. The running joke was that you weren't a man in the Olympic Peninsula until screwed each of them. I freely admit that back then, when I was still young, dumb and full of cum, I banged both of them – individually and at the same time – and spent my senior year regularly tapping their asses; what do expect, I was a horny 18 year old and they were more than willing. From what I've seen and heard, Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory have taken over their mothers' roles.

The problem that I now faced is that around three years after Renee ran off and divorced my ass, I ended up in a cheap motel room with Micki after a major bender. After that, I somehow managed to find myself in bed with her off and on. Thankfully, it'd been a year since we last had sex and I wasn't looking to go there again. Nurse Stanley wasn't the type of woman that took rejection well. The only way I was able to finally get out of there was to agree to a weekend getaway with her – not that I planned on following through with it.

Once I was able to get back in to my patrol car, I was remembered what Micki had been saying about the Cullen family and I was faced with a choice, go back to work or head home and deal with what was going to be a very emotional daughter. No matter how many mistakes I'd made in the past in regards to my little girl, when push came to shove and a choice needed to be made Bella would always win. Knowing she was going to need me, I called the Station and told them I was taking the rest of the day off along with the next week. Hell, I had accrued nearly six months of vacation time over the past twenty years that I still needed to get rid of. It would've been more but I'd used eight weeks to go visit Bella every summer from when she was 12 until she turned 15. Usually, I just cashed in a week here or there whenever I needed the extra cash to pay a bill or something. One of the perks of being Chief was that I received two weeks of vacation every six months – something I always found ridiculous but it was something my predecessor set up and it wasn't going to change no matter how hard I argued against it.

According to the digital clock on the dash, it was just after 1500 so school was out. The first thing I noticed when I pulled into the driveway was Bella's '56 Chevy pickup that I'd given her as a coming home present parked at the curb. Glancing from the ancient truck back to the house had my cop Spidey Senses going off big time. It had started to rain pretty heavily during the drive back from the hospital yet there were no lights on inside the house. I was already calling out my daughter's name as I rushed inside but there was no answer. In fact, there was nobody home; just a note that I found on the kitchen table that said Bella had gone for a walk in the woods out back with her boyfriend, Edward. I wondered why he was still in town when the rest of the Cullen's were gone and I realized the little shit had stayed just long enough to break up with Bella. A break up that was probably happening this very moment in the forest behind our home.

_What an asshole – _I thought as I headed out the back door as a feeling of dread settled in the pit of my stomach. Just at the tree line what sounded like a couple of semi's colliding followed by a lot of growling had me hauling ass down the trial with my Glock drawn. Three minutes later found me walking into a full on battle. Two well dressed blondes – one honey colored and curly that fell just past her shoulders and the other platinum that went down to the middle of her back – were squared off against a wild looking redheaded chick and a dark haired guy. Bella was on the ground behind the blondes rocking back and forth while tears silently fell from her eyes. Pegging the man as the bigger threat, I went into a shooter's stance and took aim.

Without any hesitation what so ever, I unloaded my clip into the fucker's back then stood there in shock as the bullets just bounced off of him. The fight stopped for about ten seconds as the four strangers turned my direction and everything I thought I knew about the world was thrown out the window. In addition to having chalk white skin, Red and Blackie both had crimson eyes. Growing up, I spent nearly as much time down on the La Push Reservation as I did in Forks.

My Gran, the original Isabella, had been a Quileute – she married my granddad, Geoffrey, the same day her brother Quil Ateara the Third married his sister, my great-aunt Molly. That made me a quarter Quileute and she made sure that I was taught all the Tribal Legends. I was born in the 1960's and interracial marriages were still pretty much taboo, especially on the Res; my father was never accepted as a member of the tribe so there was no way the Elders were going to offer me a place being only quarter Quileute. It wasn't until the early '80's, after my friends and Great-Uncle Quil took over the Tribal Council that I was finally offered full membership. For me that ship had long since sailed so I turned them down; don't get me wrong, I was and still am very proud of my heritage but I no longer had the burning need for the tribe's validation as I did when I was younger.

The pause that my Dirty Harry impression caused had been just enough to give Honey and Platinum the edge they needed. They used the distraction to rip Blackie and Red to pieces – which sounded like rending metal – and then barbequing the remains with a couple of handy Zippos. I was slowly starting to come out of my stunned state and my eyes bounced back and forth between my emotionally distraught daughter and the two blondes. It was almost funny how the two women acted as if I was any kind of threat because gun – ineffective as it had been – was empty.

Cautiously, Honey started to walk toward me with her hands held up in the universal sign of being non-threatening. I holstered my weapon as I watched her approach but the second she was close enough for me to look into her golden eyes everything changed. In addition to the stories about Spirit Warriors, Protectors and Cold Ones, my Gran always told me that no matter how diluted it was, I carried some of the magic that flowed through her people's blood. Until now, I never really believed that but looking back there had been signs of it being true. For starters, I've never been sick a day in my life. In fact, no matter how much I've smoked or stuffed myself I remained healthy as a horse. Hell, it took a fuck ton of alcohol before I even got tipsy – which put the situation with Micki in a whole new perspective because it would've taken way more than what I drank that night to jump back into her bed. Another sign that it was true was the fact that I'm nearly 42 and I don't look more than 30 at the most. I used to joke whenever anyone asked me my secret that it was just healthy living and good genes.

The most incontrovertible proof that Gran hadn't been blowing smoke up my skirt was what just happened. Right as our eyes met something unexpected happened; I Imprinted on the goddess before me and she became the center of my Universe – a spot she shared with my Bella. Honey reached up and caressed my cheek in a daze and then we both gasped as electricity shot straight to our hearts from the point where cold and warm skin met. For a brief moment nothing existed but the two of us. Of course, a clearing throat brought reality crashing back down upon us.

"I think we really should get Bella inside and make sure she's okay. There will be time for explanations and _other things_ later," Platinum commented as she walked pasted us with my daughter cradled in her arms.

My Imprint slid the hand that had been touching my cheek down until she held my left and then gently guided me back up the trail. By the time we made it back into my house, Platinum had Bella laid out on the couch while she gently checked her over for injuries. The other woman glanced in our direction and shook her head no to indicate that she'd found nothing. Concern for my little girl dominated my thoughts once more and I made my way over to the couch then knelt beside her.

"Bella, Sweetheart, did Edward do anything to you," I felt like a total schmuck for asking but the cop in me knew there was a chance that the fucker had done something and I needed to know so that I could hunt him down if necessary.

The mere mention of the name caused the prone girl to react. Bella sat bolt upright and let loose a heartbreaking wail. As the sound filled the room, three things happened; her eyes started to glow, there was a blinding flash of light and the daughter I knew ceased to exist. When the light faded and we were all able to see properly again, teenage Bella had been replaced by a much younger version – a three-week-old Bella was now laying on the couch cushion looking around curiously. On the coffee table in front of the couch was a plain book that hadn't been there before. It was just one thing too many in such a short space of time and I fainted.

_Kate_

Three days ago, all but one of the Cullen's showed up at my family's home in Denali distressed and begging to stay until at least Edward showed up. Naturally my sister, Tanya, readily agreed; anything for another chance to seduce the youngest Cullen male into bed. She was obsessed with that goal because the younger vampire was the only person ever to turn her down and her Succubus nature just couldn't let that stand. Where the rest of us understood that the child's views against pre-marital sex where set in stone, Tanya simply saw it as a trifle to overcome; until she finally fucked the boy or found her Mate, there was no way that she was going to willing give up.

While her eldest sister and Coven Leader, Carmen and Eleazar comforted our _cousins_, it was Laurent's reaction that I found the most telling. Unlike my family, who were concerned about the incident that caused them so much grief, the French vampire looked pleased at the thought that the human girl was now unprotected. He'd come to Denali and my family at Carlisle's suggestion to try the _Vegetarian Lifestyle_; something that he only made a half assed attempt at. A week later, the Cullen Patriarch called and told us how his family had killed our guest's male companion after he attacked Edward's human mate (not that any member of my family believed that particular claim). Laurent had taken the news in stride and even went so far as to say that he'd left because he'd grown tired of James' games and the other vampire deserved his fate.

One of the problems with that statement was the fact that he'd looked pissed off for just a second before he'd said it. Another came from the fact that during his stay with us, he often proudly regaled us with tales of the games he and his former companions played with their food. In spite of the fact that the rest of the family found that disturbing, Irina found the shit attractive and soon had him in her bed. Now that she was getting thoroughly fucked on a regular basis, she tended to ignore his creepy comments; until that night. The two of us had witnessed that look on his face and found it suspicious that he decided to go on an extended hunting trip so that we could

**Friday's Child**** [HP/Friday the 13****th**** The Series TV Show Crossover; Fem Harry, Metamorphmagus Harry. Pairings: Micki/Sirius, possible Harry/Multi-femslash]**

_**"Lewis Vendredi made a deal with the devil to sell cursed antiques. But he broke the pact, and it cost him his soul. Now, his niece Micki, and her cousin Ryan have inherited the store... and with it, the curse. Now they must get everything back and the real terror begins."**_

Ch. 1: Caveat Emptor

_No. 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey; November 2, 1991_

The redheaded woman glanced at the faux antique clock upon the mantel as she sipped her tea while her hostess prattled on incessantly about her family's social standing. Each word that came out of Patunia Dursley nee Evans mouth made the younger woman want to kill the horse faced bitch and her walrus of a husband that took up half the sofa next to her but the redhead had at most another twelve hours before her former partner was on her trail so time was of the essence. Thankfully, she remembered to bring something to take care of the pathetic wastes of human flesh across from her. Her private musings came to an end as the horse finally got to the crux of what brought the young twenty-something in the first place.

"… so you see, Ms. Vendredi, there is no way that my husband and I can look after my _half_-sister's child without depriving our own precious Dudley," Petunia was saying with false sympathy before she was cut off.

"Enough beating around the bush, Pet; Lily Potter was an unnatural freak and I will not have her freakish spawn living under my roof. Now what I want to know is if you're going to take that thing or are we going to be dropping off at the first Orphanage I can find," Vernon Dursley interrupted hotly.

"Meester Dursley, az my Uncle Louis' sole 'eir I 'ave come 'ere today fully prepared to take custody of 'iz only grandchild. You will find all zee necessary paperwork within zis file. All that iz required are zee signatures of you and Meeses Dursley. I 'ave also brought £30,000 of your British Pounds Sterling as recompense for any inconvenience you suffered," the redhead – Ms. Vendredi – replied in an over exaggerated French accent while she removed the file and bundles of currency from her purse then placed them on the coffee table in front of them.

Vernon swiftly opened the file and pulled a pen from his shirt pocket. His eyes greedily kept bouncing from the cash to the designer dress of the Frenchwoman as he signed in all the relevant places. Petunia followed her husband's lead with pleasure just so she could get the child out of her home as quickly as possible. As soon as all the signatures were done, the redhead went to reach for the now closed file folder but was stopped when one of the male Dursley's hamhock sized hands closed around her wrist. She resisted the urge to smirk at the expected move.

"Beefore you get any ideas about demanding any more money, I would like to point out a few facts zat are significant in zis situation. Ze first iz that my attorney iz waiting for me outside in the car. Ze second iz zat Lily Louise Potter nee Evans was your wife's half-sister – as she herself recently pointed out – so your family 'az no claim to any more of the Vendredi Family Fortune. Ze zird iz zat I offered zat money merely as a courtesy because you 'ave only 'ad ze child for at most a day so zere was no real inconvenience on your part. 'Ad I gotten word a few 'ours earlier zen I wouldn't 'ave gone to that estate sale to pick up somezing for one of my customers and would 'ave gladly 'ave given you more," she stated calmly as she appeared to subconsciously remove a large ornate silver cross.

The behemoth of a man let go of her wrist then snatched the cross from her other hand. An unholy fire burned in his eyes as a tingle went up his arm from where his skin touched the religious symbol. Petunia looked shocked at first by her husband's behavior but was soon casting her own covetous gaze at the relic. Neither of the two noticed Ms. Vendredi's malicious smirk or the fact that her eyes briefly went from hazel to a demonic red with slit pupils for just a second.

"Zat piece once belonged to 'Oly Mother Church's greatest Witch 'Unter. It iz a priceless relic that was meant for ze private collection of one of my most valued clients. 'Owever, I would be willing to let you keep it if that iz what it takes to get my new Ward and I on our way," the redhead practically purred.

Vernon nodded absently as he caressed his newly acquired cross while Petunia tried to be as unobtrusive as possible as she went to retrieve the child. Unfortunately, Ms. Vendredi had kept a close eye on her and was forced to keep from killing the couple again when the bitch pulled a basket that contained a small child from the closet beneath the stairs. The redhead quickly turned back to face the walrus and was placing the file back into her purse when Mrs. Dursley returned.

"We should be going now," the younger woman stated then stood up, shouldered her purse and grabbed the toddler bearing basket in one hand. Petunia guided her back to the front door but failed to see her free hand glow as it traced a pattern in the air.

The woman who once went by Michelle "Micki" Foster walked purposely down the front walk of No. 4 Privet Drive then climbed into the back of the stretch limo that was parked at the curb. She buckled the smiling toddler into the child safety seat and then ordered the driver to head back to her hotel in London. Her recently enhanced senses picked up on the power coming off her fifteen-month-old charge but there was something off about it. There was also the Dark Aura that came from the lightning bolt shaped scar on its forehead. Tiny emerald eyes met hazel for the very first time.

"Don't you worry, my little darling, your new mummy is going to make everything all better," Micki cooed and made the toddler giggle.

Forty minutes later, the limo deposited its passengers at one of the city's older hotels; its Edwardian décor was designed to appeal to a much older clientele. Micki went up to her room then placed the basket on the small coffee table in front of a two-seater couch. By now, the child was sleeping so she laid it down on the cushion next to her and then proceeded to examine the rest of its contents. There were only four items inside; a crimson baby blanket with gold trim that had the initials HRP and two crests – one was the Vendredi Crest so she assumed the other was for Potter, two stuffed animals – a brown wolf and a black dog, and a parchment envelope with a broke red wax seal. She removed the folded single sheet of matching parchment from it then read the very short missive. It had taken nearly half of the ride back for Micki's anger at the Dursley's to subside but the anger was back with a vengeance only this time it had a new target – Albus Perceval Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!

_Dear Petunia,_

_Last night your sister and her husband were murdered by an evil wizard that nearly succeeded in taking over our world. Though he was defeated, he is still alive but in hiding. You must raise your nephew, Harry Potter, as his living in your home will protect your family from the previously mentioned wizard's followers. For your trouble you shall receive a stipend of 1000 galleons per month; about 5000 of your muggle pounds. I must also ask that you not reveal young Harry's heritage to him until his Hogwarts Letter arrives._

_Sympathetically,_

_Albus Perceval Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

_Order of Merlin, 1__st__ Class_

_Grand Sorcerer_

_Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry_

Not only was the note in her hands rather cold, it failed to adequately provide anything remotely resembling a proper explanation of what happened or could in the future. While it was obvious during their short meeting that the Dursley's hated all things magical, the redhead could also understand that they were afraid as well. She would be too because of that asinine line about how the child would keep them safe from Dark Witches and Wizards. It failed to take into account that there would've been no danger if said child wasn't there in the first place. Something about the letter bugged her so she re-read it and found what it was. Dumbledore wanted the Dursley's to care for their nephew Harry. The sheer stupidity of the man cut through her anger and she threw her head back and laughed. The loud noise woke the sleeping child so Micki started to rub soothing circles on its back.

"Mummy's sorry Darling but it seems that the bad man that tried to hide you away from your family thinks you're a boy named Harry," she chuckled just before picking the little girl up.

It was just now 2 pm and Micki knew there was still much to get done before the night's entertainment started. She picked up her purse and room key then headed back out the door; the first stop of the afternoon was going to be Gringott's Bank in Diagon Alley. The twenty-something woman was grateful that the entrance to the Alley – a pub called The Leaky Cauldron – was only a few blocks away so it wasn't going to take long to get there. As the new mother walked with her new daughter in her arms she let her mind wander over how much her life had changed in the past four years.

She'd been a rich socialite with a budding modeling career engaged to her prep school boyfriend when a lawyer dropped by her house with some rather unwelcome news; Micki and some cousin-by-marriage she wasn't certain she'd ever even met had inherited an Antique Shop from her uncle, Lewis Vendredi. When she told her parents, they acted strange but never tried to stop her from going. Promising her fiancé and family that she'd be back in a couple weeks, she'd flown out to Vancouver to sell the place as quickly as possible. Too bad Fate had other ideas. The cousin she had to split the inheritance with, Ryan Dallion, was all for keeping the business open and for the two of them to run it. Eventually Micki was able to convince him to liquidate everything then split the profits but that proved to be a fatal mistake. A former friend of Lewis' named Jack Marshak showed up looking for the money their uncle owed him but found something else instead – a ledger full of cursed objects that Lewis had sold as part of a bargain with the Devil. Thus began a quest to retrieve all the antiques from the ledger then lock them away in a special vault underneath the store.

The three had many adventures that pitted them against not just the objects themselves but the very minions of Hell. They became closer even as their self-appointed mission took loved ones from them. Then somewhere along the way, Micki learned the truth about her heritage; she was a witch of the Ancient and Noble House of Vendredi whose parents bound her magic so the family could hide among the muggles – non-magical people. Not long after Ryan was given a second chance to grow up with his mother, the redhead finally fell to the Darkness that surrounded her and started to study the Black Arts from the books in Uncle Lewis' secret library; along with old wand she'd found collecting dust on one of the shelves and other Ritual Tools.

Ryan's friend, Johnny Ventura, tried to replace her absent cousin but all he really wanted to do was get into Micki's pants. Knowing this, she strung him along for the past year until the right moment. The night that Jack left to help an old friend she was ready. The redheaded witch carefully prepared her bedroom for what would become her ascension to her rightful place. She seduced the perpetually horny Johnny then at the height of their mutual climaxes slit his throat with an athame she'd hidden under her pillow. As his lifeblood gushed from the wound, Micki made her bargain with Lucifer; 100 Souls in one year in exchange for her magical core being unbound, all of Lewis' occult knowledge as well as any she would've gained had she gone to a magical school. She hadn't known at the time that the only reason the Devil had made such a lopsided bargain was that he believed Micki would be so corrupted by the end of the year that he'd be able to ensnare the witch in eternal servitude.

That had happened less than three weeks ago and she made short work of selling off as many of the things in the vault as she could before she had the rest relocated. It was only pure chance that she'd been in the shop when Lily Potter's lawyer had called. One short conversation later that revealed that Lily had been Uncle Lewis' daughter who recently died and left behind a child, Micki was on the next flight to London. The attorney – a minor demon that called himself Jason Vorhees – met her at Heathrow this morning then took her to breakfast so that they could eat while they went over the paperwork he had for her. While he wasn't in possession of Lily's

Will, Jason had everything else, Custody and Adoption papers, Birth Certificate for Holly Rose Potter and partially completed Dual Citizenship papers for Holly. He even provided the £30,000 pounds to sweeten the pot for the Dursley's. Of course it came from the Vendredi fortune but it was still fortuitous. Just before the limo had taken her to Surrey, Jason explained that she needed to make sure to go to Gringott's because there were more forms to fill out there and everything could be filed.

In spite of the heavy foot traffic, mother and child made it to the magical pub then through the entrance to Diagon Alley in only fifteen minutes. Another five saw them in the lobby of the bank and standing before one of several available tellers. Gringott's Bank was run by Imps which the wizarding folk mistakenly called goblins; not that pint sized minor demons were going to correct them. The diminutive creature tried to purposefully ignore them at first but Micki wasn't about to let that slide. She allowed her eyes to switch to their Infernal aspect and the imp fell over himself as he attempted to assist her.

"My name is Michelle Vendredi and the child in my arms is Holly Potter. I need to speak to the Account Manager for the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter. He should be expecting me. Additionally, I will need to take an Inheritance Test while we conduct our business," she hissed quietly to the teller.

The imp hopped off his stool then came around the counter and motioned that they should follow. As the lobby was not all that busy, Micki kept her red irises with slit pupils; not that the few witches and wizards present ever got a good look at her eyes as she was lead hastily away. A few minutes later, the twenty-something and her charge were safely ensconced within a well appointed office sitting in front of a much more important looking imp.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Vendredi, Vorhees said that you'd be by to finish up your paperwork. You may call me Goldclaw – I'm the Senior Account Manager for the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter. I trust that you brought everything you had the Dursley's sign with you? Before we get into that and finalize everything, I believe you wish to take an Inheritance Test so we might as well get that over with first as the results could prolong our business," Goldclaw greeted as he pushed a blank piece of parchment and a silver rune encrusted dagger toward her.

The redheaded witch settled little Holly in her lap and made short work of slicing her palm with the dagger and then letting the blood pool in her palm before she poured it onto the parchment. As the blood soaked into the enchanted piece of vellum, the cut healed. A few seconds later writing began to appear on the parchment; most of it was what she expected but there was a surprise she hadn't even considered.

**Inheritance Test**

**Name: Michelle Isobel Vendredi**

**Father: Micheal Eric Vendredi**

**Mother: Yvonne Catherine Vendredi nee Von Gelder**

**Titles: Heiress/Lady of the Ancient and Noble House of Vendredi (Paternal)**

**Heiress/Lady of the Noble House of Von Gelder (Maternal)**

**Regent of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter (by Bequest)**

She smiled malevolently as the full implications of the last line on the page dawned on her. Plans already started to swirl around in her head to deal with a certain meddling fool of a Headmaster but she pushed those to the back of her mind so that she was able to focus solely on the task at hand.

It took another four hours to get through the rest of the documents dealing with the Potter Estate, Magical Guardianship, finish up the paperwork from Vorhees, and then perform the Blood Adoption Ritual. The folder Micki had brought with her now bulged with Bank Statements, investment summaries and property titles for House Potter. Then there was another hour taken up by Gringott's approved Healers examining Holly and having a Curse Breaker remove the soul fragment of Voldemort that had burrowed into the scar on the toddler's forehead. The discovery of the unintentional Horcrux enraged the imps and they scrambled to search the vaults of known Death Eaters just in case the psychotic bastard had made more and had his devoted minions hide them there.

There was an even larger uproar when the vertically challenged demons found another one of the abominations in the vault of Bellatrix Lestrange. Micki was given a third of all the Lestrange Vaults, which became forfeit after the discovery of the horcrux, for her help with sending the soul fragments to Hell. After that, it was time to deal with the results of her Inheritance Test.

Representatives from the Gringott's branches in Paris and Amsterdam arrived to deal with everything involve Houses Vendredi and Von Gelder respectively. By the time the new mother and her daughter left the bank it was just after 8 pm. Both were tired and hungry so they stopped for a late dinner at the Leaky Cauldron just for the sake of simplicity. The redheaded witch that recently ascended to two Ladyships and a Regency insisted that they be given a small private dining room just in case any of Dumbledore's agents were about and at least recognized the blanket her daughter was wrapped in. As the menu consisted of mostly pub fare, Micki ordered a large bowl of hearty beef stew to share with Holly along with a glass of wine for herself and some milk for the child.

Forty minutes later, the witch and her now sleeping daughter exited the Leaky Cauldron and were on their way back to the hotel. Micki knew that the clock was running down and Jack Marshak was going to be England by tomorrow afternoon at the latest. Thankfully, along with the account statements and other documents for the Noble Houses of Vendredi and Von Gelder she'd been given a portkey to the Von Gelder ancestral manor outside Amsterdam. Once the pair got back to their hotel room, it wouldn't take long to pack – thanks to magic – then get checked out. From there, all that Micki needed to do was step into a nearby alley then activate the magical transportation device. Their trail would be well and truly cold by the time her former partner began his search of London.

_No. 4 Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey; One hour later_

Gunshots rang out as the local Police Constables gunned down a blood soaked Vernon Dursley as he charged them with an equally bloody Butcher's knife. It was well past dawn when the authorities were able to tally up the body count of the dead man's grisly rampage – 80 people killed, including Vernon, Petunia and Dudley Dursley. The few survivors of what the Media had already called _The Privet Drive Massacre_ reported that Mr. Dursley had been heard muttering a single verse of Scripture – Thou shalt not suffer a Witch to live – repeatedly during his attacks. This was later proved true after investigators entered the Dursley home to remove the bodies of Petunia and little Dudley. Other than an ornate silver cross, all the pictures had been removed from the walls of the living room and that biblical verse had been scrawled all over the walls of the living room in the blood of both the mother and child.

Further digging into Vernon's background revealed him to be a member of the Wolf's Cross Brotherhood – a White Supremacist/Neo-Nazi organization – as well as other hate groups and a supporter of several extremist Christian groups. There was even a report that linked him as the prime suspect for being a serial rapist that terrorized "Hippy" Co-eds at London College where he was going to school. Each of the victims had the words _Pagan Bitch_ carved across their stomachs. One psychologist interviewed in the London Times about the case commented that Vernon Dursley was a time bomb waiting to go off buy nothing in the investigation indicated what triggered his killing spree. The only thing that the Ministry of Magic's Aurors found, after Dumbledore was forced to come clean about where he stashed their Savior, was that Vernon Dursley was possibly affected by a Dark Object that had been recovered from his home.

Ch. 2: Enter the Proxy

_Wizengamut Chambers, Ministry of Magic, London; November 6, 1991_

The chaos that arose in the aftermath of the past seven days had proved it wasn't a good time to be named Albus Perceval Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. First there were the tragic deaths of James and Lily Potter. That was followed shortly by the Traitor – Sirius Black being sent to Azkaban for betraying the Potters and killing another friend from his school days along with thirteen muggles. Then there was the fact that the Potter's Will had burst into flames in this very

chamber when Dumbledore had tried to get the document sealed. Finally there was the debacle over the Privet Drive affair and The-Boy-Who-Lived going missing. All of those blows coming in quick succession had forever tarnished the image of the man everyone believed to be the greatest wizard since Merlin. Any chance Dumbledore had of becoming Chief Warlock of the Wizengamut were all but destroyed so the old manipulator was forced to swiftly regroup in order to salvage his plan for the Greater Good.

Millicent Bagnold, the Minster of Magic, had called an emergency session of the Wizengamut for today to deal with the situation once and for all. Thankfully, House Dumbledore was a Noble one – albeit a minor one – so Albus was able to at least watch the proceedings from his family's Ancestral Seat. The session was open to the public and most of the Gallery Seats were packed with reporters from various magical papers from around the world. The reason for that was that Sirius Black was going to be questioned under Veritaserum in an attempt to find out what happened to young Harry Potter.

Just before the Minister ordered the Aurors to seal the doors to open the proceedings, Dumbledore noticed a gentleman with close cropped hair wearing a muggle business suit and carrying an expensive dragon hide briefcase enter then sit down at the small table next to the Chair of the Accused. As the man placed the briefcase on the table before him, the Hogwarts Headmaster was shocked to see his predatory smirk. He also exuded a powerful aura that was so distressing that it even made the Dementor contained behind a shield in the corner nervous. A hush fell over the room as Bagnold gave the order and two Aurors dragged in a disheveled and pissed off Sirius into the chamber then forced him into the Chair of the Accused; chains magically bound him and kept him from moving the instant he was settled. Before the Minister had a chance to say anything the man in the suit rose from his chair.

"Minister Bagnold, Lords and Ladies of the Wizengamut, my name is Jason Vorhees and I have been retained as _**Lord**_ Black's legal counsel for today's proceedings. I demand that my client be released from that accursed chair before I allow anything to continue," Mr. Vorhees stated icily while his so-called client gave him a curt nod of approval.

"Who hired you? That monster is no Lord, he is a convicted mass murderer and will not be released from that chair until he tells us where the Potter child is," a witch from the Gallery demanded angrily. Everyone's eyes were on the solicitor so many missed the look of startled concern that crossed Black's face.

"As my client was never formally disinherited from his family, his position as Heir was affirmed by the Wills of the previous two Lords Black; his father – Lord Orion Black and his grandfather – Lord Arcturus Black. With the former passing away three years ago and later passing away last month, Sirius Orion Black became Lord and Head of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black. While preparing for today's hearing, I discovered some very disturbing facts. First, at the time of my client's arrest all the witnesses were Obliviated before they had even been

questioned; a fact that the official Auror reports confirm. Those same reports show that after Lord Black had been stunned, he was shipped straight off to Azkaban without being questioned.

"Furthermore, upon looking at the file for the so-called trial image my utter surprise when I found no transcript whatsoever just a form stating that a Tribunal had been held with four signatures; Bartemus Crouch Sr. – Head of the DMLE, Lord Thaddeus Abbott – Wizengamut Appointed Judge, Helen Carstairs – Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic, and Justin Clark – Wizengamut Scribe. Besides the glaring irregularities involved with this whole incident, this document is a deliberate forgery. On the date of the alleged tribunal Thaddeus Abbott had been dead for six months and Senior Undersecretary Carstairs was out of the country visiting her newborn grandson. Three of the four signatories – Abbott, Carstairs and Clark – were well known to be outspoken advocates for capital punishment for convicted Death Eaters because of the heavy losses their families suffered at the hands of those terrorists.

"Therefore, I can only conclude that not only is my client innocent of all charges, members of both the Ministry and Wizengamut kidnapped the Lord of a Most Ancient and Noble House, Conspired against said Lord and various other crimes. I shall be filing charges against the guilty parties, the Ministry of Magic and the Wizengamut before the close of business today and be seeking punitive damages on behalf of Lord Black. To prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the validity of everything I've just said, my client is willing to submit to questioning under Veritaserum before this assembly. Naturally, with the Ministry being implicated, the longest tenured member of the Wizengamut will conduct said questioning using the questions that I have compiled for that purpose.

"Normally, the relationship between a solicitor and their client is confidential and protected by both Wizarding and Muggle Law. However, I have been given leave to reveal specific facts as they directly relate to why this hearing arranged in the first place. During the summer before her Seventh year at Hogwarts, a young witch was in the middle of a personal crisis – her parents had separated and her mother filed for divorce. When she begged her father to stay so he and her mother could work everything out, he told her that he wasn't her father and then stormed out of the house along with her older sister. That witch's name was Lily Marie Evans.

"It was three days later that mother and daughter were calm enough to talk about what had been so callously spoken of. It turned out that Joseph Evans had always had a bit of a wandering eye and cheated on his wife, Rose, repeatedly. When their daughter, Petunia, had just turned two he told Rose that he wanted a divorce then tossed both ladies out into the street. As her own parents were dead and she had nowhere else to go, Rose Evans emptied the family's bank account then purchased two tickets to live with some cousins in America. She stayed for a year and eventually fell in love with another man. As the couple discussed plans to marry, there was a dark cloud on their horizon. Joseph showed up and begged for another chance; he even told Rose that he never filed the Divorce papers. Petunia begged her mother to reconcile with her

father, which she ultimately did with great regret. The family hadn't been back in England for a couple of days before Rose found out she was pregnant.

"Joseph agreed to raise the unborn child as his own as part of the reconciliation so when Lily was born she had a pair of loving parents. The happy family image ended and Joseph went back to his philandering ways after Lily started to display accidental magic. Once she learned the truth, the teen witch became very angry at having been lied to all of her life. It wasn't long before she calmed down and understood why her mum and stepfather acted in the manner that they had.

"During the trip to Diagon Alley to get her school supplies for the coming year, Lily asked to the goblins to take an Inheritance Test while Rose converted pounds to galleons. The test proved to be a bit of a shock. Not only had her biological father been a Squib, he was a member of an Ancient and Noble House in France. That meant that she wasn't a muggleborn but a half-blood – at least according to the ICW's definition. Unfortunately, she wasn't able to access any of the Family Vaults until she contacted her father. She was put in touch with the Family's Account Manager in Paris who happily provided Lily with a small leather bound general history of her family and its place in Wizarding France.

"It was also during that trip that I met Miss Evans for the first time. She'd already been thinking about hiring a solicitor to help deal with the Trust that her maternal grandparents had set up for her. Gringott's recommended my firm and after the initial meeting where we looked over the details of her Trust, she asked me to look into locating her biological father who appeared to have dropped off the face of the Earth. I have had the pleasure of working for the late Lady Potter ever since. In fact, it was shortly after her wedding that she introduced me to her husband; one conversation later and he made me Chamberlain of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter. Lady Lily was also the one that convinced Lord James for the need for draw up two sets of Wills – a primary and a secondary.

"As the war against Lord Voldemort and his minions continued to rage, I was asked to hold off on finding Lady Lily's father. The Potter's had just gone into hiding when I caught a break and was able to find the allusive man but held off contacting him until my Lord and Lady were no longer in danger. Now, in regards to the Wills, the Primary contained a clause that if both Potter's were murdered while in the home they were hiding in then it was void and the Secondary was to be immediately implemented. That is the only reason Lord Black was stuck in that hell you call a prison for as long as he was because I needed to deal with discharging that will. According to that document, in the event of their deaths custody of their child was to be given to his maternal grandfather. A potential problem arose when I discovered that said individual had already passed away without any knowledge that he ever had a daughter. He named his niece as his heir as a result.

"Thankfully, I was able to contact Lady Lily's cousin and explain the situation to her. A woman of strong moral fiber, she immediately agreed to assume custody of the child. It is with great pleasure that I inform you that the Potter Heir has been with her and that she ascended to the Potter Regency per bequest. M'Lady Regent has taken her responsibility to her Ward one step father by going through the process of Blood Adoption to become the child's mother. It was her request that I act as Lord Black's advocate for today's hearing. She also named me as Proxy for the Most Ancient and Noble House of Potter due to being the head of two prominent Houses on the Continent. I have all the required paperwork with me and shall file it with the Scribe after the current business is concluded," the solicitor explained with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

**Son of the Raven**** [HP/Highlander: The Raven Crossover; Harry natural animagus (raven). Pairings: Amanda/Lily, Harry/Tonks?]**

Prologue: Pink Plus

Amanda stared at the plastic stick in her hands in disbelief. She'd been feeling sick for about a week and at the Pharmacist's insistence bought a Home Pregnancy Test. Immortals were infertile so she'd known that wasn't it but something compelled her to buy the damn thing anyway and now she was looking and a pink plus sign that said she was pregnant. There was little doubt about who the father was, the last time she'd had sex with a man was a couple of weeks ago, when she'd let a couple take her back to their place from the club where she was celebrating a successful heist. The Immortal remembered her tongue tingling from more than the alcohol in the last drink the pair had bought her but when nothing bad happened she put it out of her mind.


End file.
